Sometime around 5th grade my parents bought a second line for our home phone (698-6971). The results were dramatic. My sisters and I quickly began to argue over equitable utilization, my parents barred any friends from calling our primary # and getting a phone in my room became my (failed) obsession. Relegated to conversing with friends through the kitchen wall phone, my social life was laid bare to anyone hankering for a snack. Oh, and my sisters and I would do our best to surreptitiously pick up another receiver and eavesdrop. Good times! When peers at school said hurtful things to me or about me, I ruminated on it through the kitchen phone. My jealousy and hurt feelings about that Guns ‘N Roses concert no one invited me to began and ended on the kitchen phone. When I got picked to join the travel soccer team, it was via the kitchen phone. My parents and siblings, while annoyed, could keep an eye on me and respond to my endless teenage mood swings. I could go to sleep each night without worrying too much about other conversations I might be missing.

Today’s adolescent experience is vastly different. There are countless devices that instantly connect people, utilizing every conceivable mode of communication. It is much harder to step out of the conversation because the conversation never stops. People are emboldened to say things on their apps and online that they would not say face to face. The nonstop stream of information about others and oneself can lead to strong emotional responses that may not be processed because there is rarely a break in the action, a time to process away from it. In addition, the technology makes it so easy for kids to engage and quite challenging for parents to keep track of the who/what/when/where and how of their child’s social media life. Take a moment and try to list the apps (that you know about) available, for free, to anyone interested in communicating online.

So why state the obvious? Because trying to control this new environment is probably not the solution. What is effective and realistic is learning how to engage with social media responsibly, with awareness and trust among adults, students and peers. As our students begin to learn out loud through blogging, take the time at home to reinforce the behaviors we are facilitating at school. Know what apps are out there and talk with each other about the behaviors that lead to positive and damaging online experiences.

As you engage in this conversation as a family, read the following article as a starting point.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/09/06/style/teen-apps-bullying.html?emc=eta1&referer=